haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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