yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
