The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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