and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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