you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
