Your face is a jimmy john
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
