Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
