Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
