I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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