Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Even my vagina gasped.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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