Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
