Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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