You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
