The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You were trust falling into bushes
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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