HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
