Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
