About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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