shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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