I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
