pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
