Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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