I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
