false alarm. still invincible.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm too high and old for this...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
