He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
