All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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