two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I had to cum in my sink.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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