Its about making memories worth repressing
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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