That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
