I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
