I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
