Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
