ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
