I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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