just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's shark week go big or go home
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
