Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
