mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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