You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
whose ass print is on the piano?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
