I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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