you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
