yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
