she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i've created a new STD.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
