Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
