Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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