how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
