hell yes lets make some ravioli
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
