What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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