k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it because I queefed?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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