apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
