Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
