Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And then my night got REAL pukey
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
